Going Out To Dinner

This is usually (in the past) where I have faltered.  There are simply no foods on the menu that are vegan.  Well, first..it's been a while since I've been out to eat, and second..it pays to look at a restaurants menu BEFORE you even go there with a game plan.  The last thing you want to do is order off the menu without knowing what sort of options you have.  And trust me, people don't like when you get all vegan on the waitress.  That's really one pet peve of mine that I've discovered...it's not like you think you're special or something...we are just concerned with our health.  Not trying to hold up the show here people!
More often than not, you will find vegetable sides...make sure they are steamed and cooked without butter!  And today, we will be going out to a place that primarily serves meat.  In fact, that's their claim to fame...best seafood in the city.  Whatever.  So, I perused the menu to find that there was a portabello burger.  I don't care if they fry that sucker in oil....as long as they can hold the butter.  It comes with onions and peppers on top.  Sounds great to me!  Most restaurants are trying to be more accommodating to the health conscience customer nowadays.  Thankfully, many places have more to offer than a portabello burger, but it'll do in a pinch.  For my side, broccoli!  This is probably a good time to interject that even though potatoes are technically a vegetable....french fries are p r o b a b l y  N O T  the best choice for your veggie. 
One more tip, and then I must get ready for church! 

*MAKE SURE YOU SIT ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE TABLE WHERE YOUR CONVERSATION WITH THE WAITRESS COULD POSSIBLY GO UN-NOTICED!  DO NOT SHOUT FROM THE ROOFTOPS THAT YOU ARE ON A SPECIAL DIET!*